A Magnolia's Heart Beats

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Things Only Mississippians Get (I have posted some of my observations beside some of them.)

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. (I have seen 2 live possums in my 38.5 years of living. Once 17 years ago and once last summer scooting along the fence while we were in the pool. Yikes! I didn't know they grew up! I thought they were born to become roadkill, LOL! Possums, as a rule, are mean. They hiss at you when you shoo them away from catfood, so I hear.)

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Mississippi.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders All 10,000 of them live in Mississippi.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words. (Especially with the older generation.)

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. (Sing it! There are no shopping carts in the state of Mississippi. We only have buggies.)

7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom? (This is a good question to ask before any sort of car travel, especially to the kids.)

8. People actually grow and eat okra. (We do! When we don't fry it we actually freeze it to use in vegetable soup or gumbo during the winter.)

9. 'Fixinto' is one word. (Busted!)

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper. (As a child I never heard of lunch. It was only after I started working that I heard the mid-day meal referred to as something other than dinner.)

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. (And you make it by the gallons! I love it. It's my favorite beverage.)

12 Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?' (We respond with, "Nawdjew?")

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. (Again, more with the older generation. Our generation tends to quit at 5, go home and eat supper and watch NCIS or hang out as a family.)

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM. ("Honey, did you mash the DVD button or the VCR one? This isn't working!")

16. You measure distance in minutes. (My grandmother's house is not 46 miles away, it is 45-50 minutes away.)

17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. (Oh, we are so there right now!)

18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. (Mize, home of the Watermelon Festival. There are also Tomato Festivals and Strawberry Festivals, as well as many others. You get whatever fruit or veggie the festival is named after free and there are crafts and music and politicians at all these festivals.)

19. You know what a 'DAWG' is. (http://www.msstate.edu/)

20. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car. (In the trunk! Not on the back seat. My word!)

21. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and Ketchup. (I own more but these will do.)

22. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. (Bring me the backstrap and I'll fry it fresh - take the rest to the processor and forget the taxidermist, you might hit something bigger next weekend.)

24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.' (And we delight over knowing what the heat index is going to be for the day.)

25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas. (We don't have much of a fall or spring. This year we actually had seasons and it confused us. We see it as a sign of the times or something. Not quite sure but it was talked about.)

26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.' (Or Squall Mart because you would not believe the number of fits pitched on the floor when it's truly someone's naptime but Daddy's gone huntin' and you can't leave 'em at home by themselves...)

27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather. (Or Fair weather, meaning that it's time for the State Fair.)

28. Fried catfish is the other white meat. (Yup. Bwahahaha!)

29. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit. (Actually, it's our Daddy's who give the permission, but let's not squabble over words.)

30. You understand these jokes and forward them to Your Mississippi friends and those who just wish they were from Mississippi. (I get this email at least twice a year and nod and laugh each time I read it.)