Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Name 3 major things in your life that make you tick, and why.

1. God - without faith and the assurance of salvation I would be as lost as a goose and have no direction to head in. God keeps me centered.

2. Steve - my husband. He's my knight in shining armor. He is there for me and is so good to me. He's a great husband and father.

3. My family - my family is my world. I love them so much. Getting together with them gets me focused on love and fun and spending time together and leaves the hustle and bustle of the world outside.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A week or so ago, I rambled on the topic of accepting myself and my size as just a part of me and began the process of liberating myself from the prison of self-judgement.

So far, so good.

I believe that women of all sizes (including me) deserve a chance to prove themselves to others as well as to themselves, based on character and deeds, rather than how they look. I have worked hard this week at not being disgusted with myself and have to say that it's been a good week.

The years of having an unhealthy relationship with my body, food and self-esteem are past me now, and I look forward to learning to treat my body well, feed it as it needs it, and boosting my self-esteem greatly.

Realizing that I deserve the respect and dignity that is afforded to any woman who has accomplished these things in life regardless of my size has just moved me into a place to where I am comfortable asking for what I need as well as into a place where I am no longer afraid of how I am perceived by others. I am a woman of worth, not only in God's eyes, but finally in my own.

I am so thankful for the size acceptance sites on the web. Reading the different sites have really helped me a lot in the last two weeks, and I look forward to reading more!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Self-esteem comes in all sizes.....

I'm learning that self-esteem comes in all sizes. It's truly a one-size-fits-all thing! Self-esteem shouldn't be based on how large (or small) you are.

I think size-esteem is a good way to put what I'm gravitating toward. I am tired of putting myself down just because of my size. I am a short, fat woman. My secret is out. I stand 5'4, and while I won't give you my weight number, I can tell you it's substantial enough to make me cringe when I see it written down.

I'm liberating myself from this prison of self-judgement. God loves me. My husband loves me. My family loves me. My friends love me.

Now, I love me.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

On Childfree and Loving It...
I love my life and am beyond content with choosing to be childfree and living a childfree life. That being said, although I love children, I, too, resent the fact that many times I feel like people are trying to "guilt" me into "considering the kids". Why? My life does not revolve around them. Much as I like kids, I just don't feel a calling to be mother to them all. I like my space and don't buy into the fact that it takes a village and all that. It takes the people who need/want to actively participate in their lives (should start with family and go out from there in my opinion), not the ones who lead a different life.

My quiet time morning routine is reading the Bible (I'm in Matthew and Psalms right now) and prayer. It's so quiet and peaceful because I'm the only one up. I love that time and I guard it jealously.

This morning I was reading Matthew 3-4. This passage baffled me:

Matthew 3: 7-10: But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

Were the Pharisees and Sadducees there hanging out and tormenting people or were they being baptized? It seems kind of mean of John the Baptist to say if they were coming to get baptized. I mean, you think you're doing something good and get called "a brood of vipers"?

Also, I loved re-reading Matthew 4. It was about the temptation of Christ in the wilderness. He was so strong and resolute in resisting and it really gives me hope and strength to draw on to resist when I am tempted to sin. It was also about Him preaching and calling the first disciples. Verse 24 says: News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them.

He is such a gracious and loving Savior. Definitely the Great Physician!