Monday, August 18, 2008

At the Well

This week's At the Well topic is Sweet Talk, and is hosted by Cindy Beall.

How do you talk about your husband? Do you build him up or tear him down?

I love the verse Cindy shared.

We should always be our husband's biggest fan, especially in his hearing. We need to build him up and speak positively about him to others. Not only is it a directive from God, but it's an esteem booster for our men.

I learned this lesson the hard way. A long time ago, I used my mother and sister as a sounding board for everything negative in my marriage. Our road was rocky and I said some majorly things I shouldn't have. I nearly lost my relationship with my family because of it. It was so bad that my sister chose not to invite my husband to our marriage. I had a choice to make. How could I attend without him? And holiday events? Oh my!

It took us a long time to get back to the place we were, God was faithful and I learned my lesson. My family now re-adores Steve, and I speak only the good and wholesome things about him, which there mostly are!

My husband is a great guy. He is my knight in shining armor, my best friend, my confidant, my lover, he can fix anything, build anything, and does kind things for me.

My husband is the love of my life, and I want him to be well-liked by everyone. He's a great guy!

A word of warning, never join in on husband-bashing. It can creep into conversations before you know it.

Her: "My man never takes out the trash."
She: "Yeah, well mine leaves the toilet seat up *all* the time!"
I: "What is up with men? Can you believe mine won't even...."
She: "Yeah! I know! Last night my husband said...."
Her: "What a jerk, I asked mine to do the dishes and he said..."

And it is on, my friend.

Instead, build him up. Walk away from conversations where other women begin to tear their men down, unless you intend to offer words of edification and steer the topic back toward the good that our husbands do, which I highly recommend.

Cindy asked: What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse and others close to you know that you think the world of them?

Here are just a few of my suggestions...

1. Speak favorably about him and to him. Tell him what you admire about him.

2. Text him or leave him love notes somewhere where he is sure to see them. My friend sent her husband a text the other day that said something to the effect of, "You will be the sexiest man today wherever you go." I thought that was cute! I think she texted him back later and said something like, "Look around....yep, still the sexiest..." I love it!

3. Be quick to say, "Thank you!" for even routine things he does around the house.

4. Tell your children what a great guy Daddy is. Ask them to think up one kind thing to do for him when he gets home because he's Daddy and he deserves it!

It was nice visiting with you At the Well this morning. Please be sure to visit Cindy's blog and share your ideas for how to build up your husband and speak positively about him to others. Also, follow the instructions she has there for the Mr. Linky thingy deal.

Blessings & Love,


Denise said...

Such an inspiring and truthful post my friend.

Homesteader in Training said...

Wonderful post! I LOVE my man!

Tracy said...

You're so right! We really can't overdo this one! So important that we build them up and show our love, admiration and respect!

Thanks, Laurie Ann!

LauraLee Shaw said...

What a testimony! Thank you for sharing so openly.

Joyfull said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing the lessons learned through hard times. Your post was filled with encouragement and was a great blessing to me!

Rebecca said...

Thank you for your story. It really brought home the point that what we say (good or bad) holds the power to change our lives. I love that the negative words didn't create a sad soon as you changed, so did other's reactions around you. It's not a lost cause! We have the power to change what's around us by changing our words.

"We should always be our husband's biggest fan, ESPECIALLY IN HIS HEARING." This is what I'm working on. Thanks for the encouragement!

LAURIE said...

Loved your words of how to encourage our man. Laurie Ann - you are a great encourager, thank you for your sweet spirit. -Blessings, Laurie

lori said...

What wisdom you bring to the well today....we HAVE to be an example for the WORLD to hear....hear US love, uplift, edify those men we married!!

Laurie Ann....wonderful words....wonderful advice!


Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

Laurie Ann-great post! It just happens that every Monday I am posting ways we can pray for our husbands each day of the week from Stormie Omartian's book "The Power of a Praying Wife"...a great way to build up your husband!!


In His Graces~Pamela

Earthmommy said...

Ah yes another well-timed message, and one that totally convicts me. I am constantly doing the tearing down thing..I have GOT to work on this. Thanks for holding up a mirror.

Susan said...

Hey Laurie Ann,

These were some GREAT tips!! I needed these reminders, often.

Hope you had a great day today♥

Melanie said...

Laurie Ann... you are so right! It is so important to lift up our husbands and to not get into any of the "husband bashing" that seems to go on so often. It has happened enough in my office in the past that I had to just start walking away... not good!

Thanks for sharing your heart today! It was the best!

Shabby Olde Potting Shed said...

I couldn't agree more!
PTL... The heart of her husband TRUSTS in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil.. all the days of her life." Prov 31: 11-12.... ~~~ all because she builds him up and not tears him down! I just love what you wrote and ya know... this thinking is very unpopular in our society, yet it is GODS WAYS... --

Andrew Clarke said...

If you don't mind a male reader commenting: this is uplifting, and I'm grateful to hear it. My wife takes the same approach you do; and is the Godly way, the Christian way, I believe. Just as men should not browbeat and pick fault with women, women should not browbeat and pick fault with men. Blessings. I believe you have an inspiring post here.