Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim at Homesteaders Heart. Join in the fun by clicking on the button above and viewing other Friday Funnies. Don't forget to link up and post your own!
Foot Snuggle
On a chilly winter evening, a husband and wife were snuggled together on the floor watching television. During a commercial break, he reached over and gave her foot a gentle squeeze.
"Mmmmm," she said. "That's so sweet."
"Actually," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought that was the remote."

Love Campaign

The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times.

He began what can only be called "campaigning" and sent her a small token of his affection to her house every day for a month.

Soon, the young lady fell in love with the UPS driver.

Marriage Proposal

Some teachers at state universities get to know their students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.

A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well.

"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.

"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

Marriage Communication
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
David leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The Secret to a Lasting Marriage
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Wedding Ceremony
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief ceremony in front of the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
Saying Vows
A grandmother overheard 5-year-old Christy "playing wedding."
The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."
Young Love
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
Eye of the Beholder
My husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and I was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."
Flattered, I continued my vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You're cute."
"What happened to 'beautiful'?" I asked him.
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.
Happy (Early) Valentine's Day, ya'll! Do you have plans? We were going to keep Liam, our 4.5 mo. old grandson, but Baby No, our 17 mo. old grandson, came down with a viral infection. I'm not as scared of catching it as I am of Liam suddenly spiking a high fever and me not knowing what to do. Steve and I are going to eat sushi, one of my newly discovered favorite foods. I don't like raw sushi, but I am in total love with these things called Dynamite Rolls. They are steamed shrimp and crab rolled into some kind of seaweed (it's flat so it doesn't look like grass) and surrounded by rice. I haven't mastered using chopsticks, so Steve will have a fun evening of entertainment, watching me try try try. I am determined! We'll probably come home and watch Fireproof together after that. I haven't asked for a gift this year because our anniversary is coming up in May and I'm hitting him up for a gold cross necklace (shhhh) then. Do you exchange cards? We don't anymore. They're so expensive now. We've been married almost 18 years and we figure we've pretty much bought every one on the market by now, LOL. I am getting my traditional box of valentine's candy. Looking forward to the chocolate - yummers!



Denise said...

These really made me laugh.

Homesteader in Training said...

Oh my friend those were absolutely too funny. I always love coming here on Friday. Well any day for that matter.
I am making a big Valentines Dinner for my family. Somehow they all have to be gone for 3 hours while I prepare it. That's the hard part lol.
Don't forget to link up your funny.

LAURIE said...

Those were great! I especially liked the one when the preacher called forward those that wanted to get married. I could so see my preacher hubby forgetting the names and doing that. How funny to of had all the single old men and women come forward!!!

Happy Friday and sounds like you have a fun valentines planned. We do exchange cards and then usually go spend some time together. We usually do not go out to eat because the restuarants are so full. But since it is on saturday and the kids will be gone all day, we are planning a "daytime" date and going to lunch and then an afternoon movie. Hopefully missing the valentine madness at the restuarants.

-blessings, Laurie

Marsha said...

Oh my! The poor little girl has her lines mixed up!

And the remote... that about sums it up!

Have a great weekend.

Joyfull said...

Those were adorable! Brought a big smile to my face.
Hope that you enjoy the Valentine's weekend. I'm with you on the chocolate! Happy Valentine's Day!

Julie said...

Too funny. Thanks for the laughs and for stopping by my blog!

Peggy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peggy said...

Blessings Laurie Ann...and too funny!!! I was looking for a favorite but I like them all!
Good medicine as I get well!!!
Thanks for all your visits while I've been recovering slowly! Sounds like great plans for Valentine's Day! May you & Steve have a blessed Valentine's time together and your little one get well! That was so kind that you were willing to let their parents enjoy some time together while you care for your sweeties! EnJOY a good weekend!

Raise Them Up said...

The one about the secret to the lasting marriage is a riot. LOVE it!

Happy Valentine's Day!

He And Me + 3 said...

Funny! I wish I cooked better now. LOL

Cheryl said...

Those were so funny! Just in time for Valentine's Day!

Have a great weekend!


Grammy said...

Those were all great. I love the pack up and leave take all the kids. I would joke to my hubby he gets them if I leave. The kids are 26 & 28 with there own kids.
Have a great week.

e-Mom said...

I loved all of these. VERY funny, thanks. :~D

Sherry said...

LOL! These were great! :D

Love the marriage communication one. :D

PRaying for your grandson.

Dh got me my favorite chocolates. I made him his favorite cheesecake and then we're going to spend the day together doing different things. I'm hoping we might rent Fireproof, if possible.

Happy Valentine's Day!