At the Well - A Critical Spirit?
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." ~ Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)
The Hebrew word for quarrelsome is midyan. It means:
1) strife, contention
The root word, madown, means:
1) strife, contention
a) strife, contention
b) object of contention
I do not want to be an object of contention for my husband. I want to be one who is kind, considerate and a friend to him.
One of the qualities of friendship is noticing the good things about your friend, not the bad. When you are describing your friend to someone do you bring up the negative things about her? No. You accentuate the positive. It wouldn't make sense to point out all her faults in describing the friendship you share. That's no friendship at all.
The same should be so with our husbands. We should accentuate the positives in describing him. We should not be contentious or argumentative in our relationship. Our thankfulness for him and his attributes should far outweigh any spirit of criticism that we could come up with.
My husband is:
A great handyman around the house. He can fix anything! He makes our home beautiful by adding a door here, wallpaper there, chair railing here, and leveling pictures there.
A great listener. I can talk to him about almost anything.
A perfectionist. This means that lightbulbs are always changed, the yard always looks nice and even, and that if something is wrong, he'll make it right.
A great father and grandfather. He loves his daughter and grandchildren with his whole heart.
Very generous with his time. He never puts off spending time with me, his daughter or her children. He is Steve-on-the-spot with his parents and friends and other family.
Very smart when it comes to finances.
A very hard worker, dependable and steady, outside the home and inside.
A great romancer. He knows the right words to say, the perfect present to give and just the right place to take me to dinner for date nights.
A great visionary. He already, in March, is thinking of anniversary plans for May.
A man with a great sense of humor. He is joyful and loves to laugh.
Always patient and sensitive with me, especially with my illnesses, and never makes me feel like an albatross around his neck.
The definition of a best friend, the best friend anyone could have.
So much more. I could go on and on but it could get so sticky sweet that you could get nauseous. Seriously, my man is a good man! I love him so much and I am so thankful for him.
We all love our husbands. What are some attributes you like about your husband? Thank God for them in place of the negative ones that come up and let God chase away any critical spirit that you might have.
"Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." ~ Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)
Father, thank You for bringing my husband into my life. I love him so much and praise You for who he is. Help me to thank You for him daily and never allow a critical spirit or a bitter root to grow up our marriage. It's so easy to become complacent with the things of this world competing for our attention, but help us keep our eyes focused first on You, then on each other, then on the things that surround us and do require our attention. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
H - Honor your husband with the words you speak. "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." ~ Proverbs 31:6 (NIV)
U - Understand what your husband needs. "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. " ~ Proverbs 31:11 (NIV)
S - Submit to your husband. "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." ~ Colossians 3:18 (NIV)
B - Be kind to your husband. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
A - Admire your husband. "My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." ~ Song of Solomon 5:10-16 (NIV)
N - Never forget to pray for your husband. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~ Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
D - Dignify your husband. "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. " ~ Proverbs 31:23 (NIV)
Please join us At the Well today to discuss how we can build up our husbands and not tear them down.