A Magnolia's Heart Beats

Friday Funnies is hosted by Kim at Homesteaders Heart. Join us in the laughter we share. Visit Kim for more Friday Funnies and be sure to link up and share your own.

Before I post mine, I wanted to say a hearty thank you for the prayers you've offered up on my behalf this week. God has surely heard your prayers and I am feeling better each day. I'm almost well. I just have that lingering cough where the bronchitis is breaking up and although my ears still hurt a little and I'm a little headachy, I am on the mend! I have missed visiting your blogs. They are always such an inspiration and encouragement to me. I can't wait to visit with you soon.

Now, onto Friday Funnies...

Good Samaritan

A Sunday School teacher was telling the story of the Good Samaritan to her class of 4 & 5 year-olds. She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the children interested in her tale.

At one point, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

A Helping Hand

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

To which the boy replies, "Now we run and hide!"

I Know Something

I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."

Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"

He replied, "They're all nocturnal."

Allergies

I took my young son to the doctor for a routine physical. All the way I had to reassure him that he would not be getting a shot. He went through his eye exam, hearing test, etc. The nurse came into the exame room and started to ask me routine questions. When she got to "Is he allergic to anything" my four year old son stood up and said " YES, I'm allergic to shots!"

Saying Prayers

A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, "Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?"

A little boy answered: "My Mommy says my prayers."

"I see," said the teacher, "and what does your Mother say?"

Replied the little boy: "Thank the Lord he's in bed!"

Just Like Mommy

A two and a half year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up. "I'm going to look just like you mommy!" she announced.

"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.

"No mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always use."

A Fine Compliment

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

The Good Old Days

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"