Monday, June 16, 2008

My friend Twinkle Mom blogged on a study from the book Lies Women Believe. While I'm not doing the study and I haven't read the book (yet), I wanted to discuss my answers for the 2 questions she posed.

1) What is your current view of determining the size of your family? Is this the same view you held in the past or is it different? Explain.

My current view of determining the size of my family is this: God will decide. We just have to be open to listening to His Holy Spirit as He speaks to us and gives us the size family He wants us to have. For some women, that might mean a one-person family - herself. God might call her to remain single so she can fulfill whatever purpose God has for her that might not be possible with a husband and children. For other women, God calls them to be joined to a husband, and never have children. Whether it's through infertility, child loss via miscarriage, or doors shut during adoption processes, these husbands and wives don't have children of their own. Whatever the reason, God has determined that children are not for them. For other women, God opens their wombs and blesses them abundantly with children. Whether it's 1 or 11, or more, God fills the quiver of the husband full of sons and daughters to raise to honor and glorify Him one day.

I was the in the group where God determined that I wouldn't have children. I didn't know this right away, and though sometimes I wish I had to save myself some heartache, I have learned through God's Word that He works in His timing for His will and His purpose.

When I was going through infertility, one of the Scriptures that I found comforting was Hannah's story in 1 Samuel 1. Hannah had a need, she prayed, Eli thought she was drunk, realized she wasn't drunk and blessed her, the Lord remembered Hannah, hearing her prayer, and she fulfilled the vow she made while praying.

My story is a lot like Hannah's, although it doesn't end exactly the same way. I had a need. I prayed. I begged. I pleaded. I stated my case for what I wanted. The Eli's in my life knew I was on a quest from God and at first thought me mad, then joined with me in prayer as I sought God's will for my life. The Lord remembered me, hearing my prayer, and I fulfilled the vow I made to God. What was my vow? Simply that whatever God's will was for my life, I would accept it, no questions asked (of God's power or will).

God never once let me down. He never promised me 3.5 children. He never promised me one. What He did promise me was that He would meet all my needs according to His riches. He promised me that He loved me and had given His Son to die on the cross to pay for my sins. He promised me that when I died, I would spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Am I okay with that? Yes. I have to be. Why? Because God is still God. He exercised His will in my life, and whether or not I understand it, I trust that He did it for His glory. Not mine, not Steve's, His.

That's why I personally think that God determines the size of our families. I can't decide it on my own.

Are you going through infertility? Have you lost one or more children in miscarriage? Are you just getting started in your journey? Trust God. Pray. Leave it in His hands. I promise you that if you seek God's will for the size of your family, you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you completely and totally turn it over to Him. When you pray, lose that precious time devoted to sleeping and eating and couple it with fasting. Pace the floors, but do it while you are clinging to God, not blaming yourself, doctor's or battling man in the long road of adoption. Give it all you have, yet while you are giving your all, let God be God and give His all to determining the size of your family. He will not fail you if you seek His will. I can promise you that. His will is perfect and something you can live with, whether He blesses you with children or not.

(2) Think about how you view the issue of birth control. Does your view line up with God’s view of birth control? Give Scriptures to show God’s view.

Oooof. I'm not sure what the Scriptures say on birth control. Can you show me one that gives a clear-cut answer? I know what many religions believe. I can tell you what Laurie Ann believes. No amount of birth control is going to stop a child from being conceived if God wills it. I sat in the doctor's office once when I was going through IF treatments. The walls were so thin that you could hear conversation in the next room. This woman was sobbing, asking the doctor how in the world she could possibly be pregnant since she was on birth control pills. There was some discussion about forgetting pills and ultimately how antibiotics could render it obsolete. Laurie Ann's wisdom says, "God has a plan."

These are personal feelings. I respect yours if they're different and welcome your comments. This topic has the potential for such sensitivity. I hope I was respectful to everyone in voicing my opinion and thoughts...


Twinkle Mom said...

God bless you for sharing so touching and true words of God's ultimate plan for all of us....The blessing is that God loves us for us and doesn't define us by whether we conceive a child, adopt a child or for whatever reason doesn't have a child...He has a grand plan for all of us and it's difficult to understand and it's comforting though to remember that He wants us to leave all the hard stuff to Him and He will make it easier for us than we realize.

It's so true that ultimately, it's not us who decides how big or small a family is, it's through God...We may decide one is enough and He opens our hearts to adopt another or to be a foster mother or just be a step mother...the greatest blessing that even Mary didn't plan to be a mother (particularly so soon) but is such a role model to not close our hearts but keep it open to God's will and He will bless us for our faith in Him.