A Magnolia's Heart Beats

Friday Funnies is hosted each week by Kim at Homesteaders Heart. Please be sure to stop by her blog, link up, and post your own Friday Funny! Here are a few that made me laugh out loud...


Tooth Fairy Bonus

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I often take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

Ask a Police Officer

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a police officer?"

"Yes," I answered, and continued writing the report.

"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right," I told her.

"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

Cell Phone Etiquette

Friends and I were chatting over dinner in a restaurant. A man at the next table told his cell-phone caller to hold on. Then he stepped outside to talk. When he returned, I said, "That was very thoughtful." "I had no choice," he nodded and said to me. "You were making too much noise."

Blonde Joke (sorry if it's offensive but I laughed till I cried!)

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!" Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Oops!

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped in a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs, (13 to be exact). I was bruised, bleeding and I had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated though when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, "Again!"