A Magnolia's Heart Beats

~ Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies ~

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade — at any time of the year.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

All beds have special "L"-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

The Chief of Police will suspend his star detective — or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there. And you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition — even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war — unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

You can see the Eiffel Tower from every window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

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My date night post below is pretty funny, too.

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Friday Funnies is hosted each week by Kim at Homesteaders Heart. Please be sure to stop by her blog and post your own Friday Funny!