A Magnolia's Heart Beats

Honesty - IOW Tuesday's

Lynette, at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground, is the hostess of this week's In "Other" Words Tuesdays. Please be sure to stop by her blog and read her take on this week's quote, as well as the posts of the others who have shared.

“Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.” ~ George MacDonald ~

I find honesty refreshing. In a world where deception runs rampant, it's a trait I truly admire. We are actually commanded in God's Word to actually think on honest things.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~ Philippians 4:8 (KJV, Emphasis, mine)

One thing I enjoy doing is looking up what the original word means when used in the Bible. The greek word for honesty in this verse is semnos. It means:

1) august, venerable, reverend
2) to be venerated for character, honourable
a) of persons
b) of deeds

The word semnos is also used for the word grave, and the greek word semnos is used 3 other times in the New Testament. 1Timothy 3:8, 1Timothy 3:11, and Titis 2:2.

Look at what Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words has to say, "the word we want is one in which the sense of gravity and dignity is combined." Cremer describes it as denoting what inspires reverence and awe, and says that semnos and hosios, "holy, consecrated," are only secondary designations of the conception of holiness. "The word points to seriousness of purpose and to self-respect in conduct" (Moule)."

My prayer: Father, help me understand honesty and rightly convey my thoughts here in a way that ministers to other through encouragement and inspiration, and lessons learned from a lifetime ago.

Honesty with myself is something I have had trouble with all my life. From a very early age, I learned that dishonesty was, in fact, expected and a trait that was encouraged by both my parents. Denial and covering things up were my modus operandi. I gave some examples of the lying I did to cover up for him, but went back and deleted them because I don't want to be honest about how I was so dishonest back in the day, covering things up, believing the lies I told myself that it was my fault Daddy drank and Mother was so avoidant because she just didn't care.

Suffice it to say that growing up as a child of an alchoholic father left me with scars that made learning honesty with myself and others very hard.

I had parents who loved me very much and made sure I was in church every Sunday, whether they were there or not. More often than not, Mother was, Daddy wasn't. Daddy was a highly functioning alcoholic and Mother did care, she just stood by her marriage vows for as long as she could (they divorced after I was married) and are still close, though they are still divorced. Ironically, Daddy is a recovered alcoholic but he didn't recover until about 5 years ago. I love my father very much but I also have a lot of "issues" with him.

I still struggle today, but not with honesty. I do my best to emulate the qualities of honesty listed above. While I'm being honest, I'll share that my issues are with depression, which is under control with medicine, and I struggle with some chronic illnesses, such as IBS and fibromyalgia, though not on a daily basis. I do struggle with emotional insecurities, which I take to God daily or weekly or monthly. As I grow spiritually, I find I'm less insecure.

How did I reconcile the truth I learned about God on Sunday's and Wednesday's as a child with the lies I led at home?

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ~ John 8:32 (NIV)

"Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." ~ Isaiah 55:6-11 (NIV)

"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place." ~ Psalm 51:6 (NIV)

Jesus became my Savior when I was about 14 years old, but He did not become my LORD until much later in my life. During an eight year period of prayer, I came to realize, as I was praying over another matter, that dishonesty and all the angst of the past were nailed to the Cross. Christ died for the heartache and sin in my life, and as I learned not to take them down from the Cross to wear again and again, He became my LORD.

God exchanged the dishonesty and bondage I was under for His grace and mercy and truth. I learned that I was not a horrible person. My father made his own choice to drink and be obnoxious, and no amount of lying on his part or Satan's can or does make me believe any longer that it was my fault.

I learned from God that I was not the daughter of an awful man, but one under an addiction that was stronger than he was. I began to see him with the love that God sees him with. I learned that even on the days that I beleived my father was just awful that I was the daughter of the King. I am a child of the Most High God.

I learned to accept the good things God's Word said about me and believed them. I let God tear down the walls of dishonesty the Enemy had fed me for so long and have come to see myself as a person of worth, beautiful in God's eyes. I do not say this pridefully, but with great humility.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." ~ 1 Peter 3:3-6 (NIV)

I try to have the beauty mentioned above. And now that I am honest with myself and have exchanged the lies I believed for the truth of God's love, I can speak the truth in love, not only to myself but to others.

I pray that you believe the good and honest things about yourself, and that by doing so, you can be honest and transparent with others. There are risks involved. Will others see you as weak? Maybe, but remember that God's grace covers all your weaknesses.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

It did mine. Years of therapy didn't teach me these things, although it helped. Reading God's Word and growing in the grace God so freely gives through Jesus Christ His Son is what allowed me to let the Holy Spirit work in my life to live an honest life.

H - Humble yourself before God and ask him for help to be honest with yourself.

O - Open your heart to share the truth of your testimony with others.

N - Never forget that you are a child of the Most High God; the Daughter of the King.

E - Expect a certain lack of understanding when you bear your inmost thoughts - it's hard to convey the matters of the heart.

S - Stay on the narrow path, living a life of honesty and integrity.

T - Trust God when you cannot trust others.

Y - Yield to God's Word and reject the lies of the Enemy.

Father, thank You for helping me make it through this post. I feel Your love now more than ever and I praise You for making honesty with myself something that feels good and not ugly. Thank You for Your beauty in grace and love. Thank You for being the Father I needed when my earthly Daddy couldn't. He tries so hard now, and I pray that You will give me grace toward him each day. It's hard.